conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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