do herpes really smell.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
