wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
is wine microwaveable?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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