my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
