I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
