DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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