Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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