so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize