Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The power of my boobs compel you
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
