what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize