My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize