I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
