I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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