Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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