I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
