I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
