Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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