Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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