i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
