this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
