that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
