I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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