after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
