the day after is always just damage control
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
