At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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