this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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