maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
