i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I believe in your delicious
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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