I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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