Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
