I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
