he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
