dude i'm inner monologue high
i just google imaged poop.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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