i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
