Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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