oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
