I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
