she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
