so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize