So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
