highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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