I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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