Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
