he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
