u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
