i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
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