I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
