My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize