Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
