TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
