3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
