singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
