I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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