remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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