We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
