it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
