i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
