Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
