im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
