question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sext me about skeletons
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
