i just sent this text using only my big toe
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This is the high leading the old right now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
