thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
